POST-ATHEIST

The bunny passed away last week :(

...shan suggests that her uncle play hookey from work to spend a day at bolivar....

sometimes, on days frustrating like today, it behooves one to take pause and reflect on the phrase that deserves to be written and uttered more than once or twice:

i am still here.

in this, the summer of my lost year, sitting on the couch at work exhausted while the young teenager plays with his new cell phone, i am reminded of the glass half full take on the troubles my health has brought this direction.

and later tonight? spinach and mushroom enchiladas with mole sauce along with roasted corn on the cobb and chile lime butter.


-----

my last few blog posts (since the first hospitalization in february) have a forced quality, as though i'm trying to conjure up hope.

that's okay. despair is in such ample supply and so damned accessible. i accept this season. sometimes i'm even at peace with the disappointment, suffering, and blows both financial and academic.

when i look in the mirror to brush my teeth or comb my hair, a thirty-year-old looks back solemnly.

This year's trip to Bolivar was calm and healing. The peninsula is definitely making a come back.

Ike's water line in Galveston's historic district was higher than our heads in some areas.

My favorite place's resilience is encouraging -- I'll go ahead and acknowledge the parallel to my recovery :)

The sixth annual trip to the beach was a success.*






*Speaking of annual events, the 11th annual spaghetti dinner has been postponed (it is traditionally in May). Perhaps this autumn I'll have the energy and wherewithal to throw said shindig.

three months ago an independent shan drove herself to the hospital at the behest of her GP where she spent the first night alone, in good cheer.

i didn't see the storm that was coming. i remember thinking it odd that they asked if i had a living will when i admitted myself.

i have come a long way since i got up close and personal with death, but there is no end in sight to this recovery.

i just have to remind myself that just because it is not *in sight* that does not mean it is not there, somewhere in the hazy future. and between now and whatever, whenever there holds and will be: a few days on bolivar. my butt may have refused to return after the bout of malnourishment, but i'm still donning a bikini to get my annual dose of salt water and sun, of vacation.


----

nearly dying gets one thinking about things like wills and such. at this point dan gets the books, the journals, the computers (and files, including everything i've written). it seems silly to itemize my shit (my chef's knife goes to courtney, the sewing machine and stuff to mom, etc.)

i'm really kind of hoping to be around a lot longer.

regarding any sort of service: justin has to sing and play "today" -- uncle mike will lead everyone in "you are my sunshine" as he did at aunt mandi's funeral... and until i make arrangements to be put in the earth in a natural way, the interim plan is to be cremated. i wouldn't mind being sprinkled or tumped over the edge of wheeler peak in new mexico, but that means someone has to climb that sucker. the window out in big bend national park is a good alternative. either way you're going to have to split me up, because some ashes are going to go over the railing of the bolivar ferry, inshallah.

that's all i've got at the moment. time to get to work.

The disappointment at the canceled (or rather, severely delayed) trip to Germany has hung like a low cloud with long gusty winds for long enough.

Ingredients

New potatoes, boiled till soft and sliced into 1/2 inch rounds
Chopped veggies (onion, bell pepper, mushroom, carrot, etc)
Heavy cream
Penzey's "Sunny Spain" spice mix
Kosher salt
Freshly ground black pepper.

Instructions

Place all ingredients in a heavy pot (use enough cream to cover the veggies); bring to a boil and lower heat. Simmer for ~20 minutes. Spice to taste.

(Thanks for the recipe Mom!)

Ingredients

1/8 C olive oil
1 C chopped onion
2 large leeks, washed and sliced 1/2 inch thick
1 large eggplant, chopped
2 medium red peppers, seeded and chopped
3 large tomatoes, chopped
1/2 C sun-dried tomatoes, thinkly sliced
3 large cloves garlic, minced
1/2 pound orzo pasta, cooked
1/2 C chopped fresh basil
1/2 C tomato juice
1 C ricotta cheese
1/2 C pine nuts
1/2 C dried bread crumbs
1/2 C grated parmesan
1/4 C chopped parsley
2 tsp dried Italian herbs

Instructions

Preheat oven to 375. Saute onion, leeks, eggplant and peppers in the olive oil for 3-5 minutes; adding water if necessary to prevent sticking to the pan.

Add the tomatoes, sundried tomatoes, garlic, and orzo. Stir in the basil and tomato juice, add scant pinch of kosher salt and black pepper to taste and stir. Place in a 9X9 greased baking dish. Top with dollops of spooned-on ricotta. Mix the pine nuts, bread crumbs, parm, parsley, and Italian herbs; sprinkle on top of the mixture. Bake until top is golden brown, ~ 20 minutes.


From the Whole Foods Market Cookbook.

Ingredients

4 C chopped cauliflower
2 medium shallots, slivered
1/4 tsp kosher salt
3/4 lb peaches (2 medium)
1/2 tsp ground ground cardamom
Black Pepper
2 tbsp minced fresh parsley leaves

Instructions.

Cook cauliflower, shallots, and salt with 1/3 C water in heavy skillet covered for 7-10 minutes (till cauliflower is fork-tender). Peel the peaches and slice the flesh from the pits into bite-sized chunks; stir in with the spices and cook for ~3 minutes; toss with the parsley. Add s&p to taste.

From The Vegan Gourmet.